29. “Why do you like … [Read: 14 no-fail ways to turn down any type of guy], #5 The “took my breath away” comment. 11. 16.Â Do you ever wonder what life would be like if youâd gottenÂ enough oxygen at birth? By Jenavieve Hatch. Burning them so bad with your words that they run off crying to tell their mom is another. Whether you're walking down the street, dancing at a bar, or browsing online, creepy guys somehow always feel the need to bring their unwanted advances into your day. Are you the moon? 43. It’ll probably make him laugh, but that’s okay. In fact, in your case they're nothing. Insult: You suck! If this is an ongoing problem, there's a good possibility you'll have another chance. If you can't tell what she's really thinking, because she keeps acting like a different person, then use this phrase on her. 8. #3 The nap-to-get-in-your-pants comment. Bad idea in your case. Telling him to simply buzz off might be effective, but there are some of us who want to inject a bit of humor to a rejection in order to diffuse the situation. You've had a long day and you REALLY, just want everyone to go away.Immediately. 7.Â Sometimes itâs better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that youâre stupidÂ than openÂ itÂ and removeÂ all doubt. Remember that time I said I thought you were cool? Here are a few examples of quick and hard hitting comebacks for those who all go around fat shaming people. Are You a Giver Who’s Feeling Unappreciated in a Relationship? 24. 9. When you're not feeling up to hearing other peoples' stupidity, their voices can be unbearable. Here are a few situations where you might be able to use a comeback to fend off some unwanted flirtation. Well, Bored Panda has a list of people who had some pretty hilarious and perfect responses to … She wrote a letter. I find these comebacks to be hilarious. B. “That sounds like a you problem.” This is one of those good comebacks for when your kids are making their lack of planning your emergency. Lots of guys tend to let creativity fly right out the window when they’ve been drinking. It isn't as ugly as your face!Â 6. 28. 13. ? ... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger. I need some really good comebacks for when they sy stuff like "shut up ginger" ( my hair isnt really that ginger) "No one likes you " Yada Yada Yada...They really annoy me and my friends and i need some really good comebacks … "That was sexist, and that is not acceptable here." Can you die of constipation? 33. You may also like. If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. It isn't as ugly as your face!Â 6. In fact, in your case they're nothing. 22. "Hey dude, not cool." Cheap items have many buyers. I'd like to kick you in the teeth, but why should I improve your looks? Ignoring them and walking away is one option. Sorry, I didnât get that. 33. Youâre about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. They are short.You usually cannot … But this one *gesturing to your seat* will be empty if you decide to sit there.” It’s blunt, it’s quick, and it will definitely get your message across. Maybe it’s because they mention the word doctor, and therefore assume it’ll get a girl to perk up and pay attention. I don’t know what it is that makes guys think girls like this one. “You must be tired. Simple vernacular disapproval of the action, rather than the person. 5.Â Some day youâll go farâand I really hope you stay there. You have a good and kind soul. 15.Â I can’t helpÂ imagining how much awesomer the worldÂ would be if your dad had just pulled out. 30. It’s also funny, so expect this guy to laugh. Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited. Good comebacks will also leave your enemy lying flat on their backs and in self-pity. Don't press the button. 45. The list also provides comebacks to silly dating and relationship questions that can be sickening at times. Know what the most effective line is? So if a guy tries to use this pickup line, he is either too immature to handle having his own phone, or he’s just that stupid to believe this one honestly still works. However, if you aren’t, that’s what these witty comebacks are for! “I’ve been living mine.” Short, straightforward, and with a hint of sarcasm. i dont like him like that tho! 27 Of The Best Responses For When Random Guys Tell You To Smile "Keeping a blood capsule in my mouth for the next guy who tells me to smile." 683 Girl Insults. The village called. This reply lets him know you don’t find him funny, and it especially lets him know you don’t care to hear anymore. I mean, he’s probably not going to be the one for you if he’s still using the losing his phone number pickup line. If you want a good comeback go wipe it off your mom's face. Ladies, let's be real with one another. They’d like their idiots back. Your reply? Mean Idiots Money Nerds Old People ... Random Slut Insults; Girl Insults. 36. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. Image source . They think "that time of the month" causes you to … Please, save your breath. Have you been shopping lately? 18. Your email address will not be published. You better get going. Whatever it takes, but maybe he will get the hint that he should work on his hygiene before working on his game. Poet Desire é Dallagiacomo has the perfect antidote to dreadful, groan-worthy pickup lines: the drop-off. Using this comeback means one thing, and that is you want to get out of there as fast as possible. Thanks, Mark! You’ll probably need it to blow up your next date. 44. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than whatever you just said. More top ten comeback lists you might like. I donât speak bullshit. You better get going.” I hope you liked the selection. Iâd tell you to go fuck yourself, but that would beÂ cruel and unusualÂ punishment. #1 If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. 42. 32. Sometimes you think of a witty comeback hours later and wish you’d had it at the tip of your tongue in time. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, Iâd fart. It's hard to know exactly how to respond to a sexist comment. Your email address will not be published. Read this: 50 Hilarious Comebacks That Will Shut Everyone Up (And Make You Look Like A Genius) […], […] 50 Hilarious Comebacks That Will Shut Everyone Up (And […]. 1. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. Other. Made a comp about some funny comebacks that I've encountered. This is the guy who honestly still thinks this line works on women. That is where most accidents happen. I was thinking of ways to expand my content and Mark has just given me the idea to share emails from morons to prove a point. Just because someone finds you attractive and attempts to strike up a conversation with you by using a lame pickup line, does not mean it’s your job to engage and entertain them. It’s easy to approach someone and start up a conversation by asking a question. Comeback: And you swallow ;) 45. These were some cool insults and comebacks … You have the face of a saint. You onlyÂ annoy me when youâre breathing, really. So rather than throwing kicks of a dying horse late after an insult, be the master of good comebacks. I only yawn when Iâm super fascinated. 29. You always bring me so much joyâas soon as you leave the room. You may unsubscribe at any time. whether you deny it or not they already made up their minds about what they think you feel. Yo momma's like a library, she's always open to ... You like dick inside your butt. Me neither. There’s a fine line between being playfully flirtatious and being downright irritating. Guess that makes you a dick. Popular Questions. Have you ever encountered a guy who thought that their lame pickup lines actually worked? I was going to give you a nasty look but I see that you… Whenever we hang out, I remember that God really does have a sense of humor. Guy: Would you like to dance? Good comebacks for guys to say to girls have less to do with what you say and a lot to do with who you are saying them to, and the context within which you are saying them. 4. The way she says it is hot, and sexy and very flirty; and all she says is thank you - unbelievable! This is one of the clever comebacks that you can use when your friend keeps changing her attitude. It doesn’t. OKay so theres this guy and he thinks i like him (i used to) but i dont anymore. Have you ever been in a situation where the person standing in front of you has just remarked about your hair, clothes, or appearance, and you had nothing clever or out of the ordinary to say back? You will be shocked at how easy you will put them in their rightful places while you enjoy being in your place. Just saying it out loud is a good comeback. 42. This one is for when a chick approaches you because she assumes you swing the same way. Apr 13, 2018 - Explore Da Og's board "Comebacks to guys who piss you off" on Pinterest. Bitch please, don't be proud if every guy wants you. You’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. For some reason, guys like to use this pickup line because they think it makes us ladies feel special. Guy: Hey, I may be fat, but you’ll always be ugly, and I can diet! [Read: The clueless girl’s guide to using a perfect no-fail pickup line]. See more ideas about good comebacks, funny quotes, comebacks and insults. 14.Â Everyoneâs entitled to act stupid once in awhile, but you really abuse the privilege. Is this seat taken?” And then he’ll proceed to occupy said seat without waiting for your response. They are simple.Very complex jokes or shaming tactics are hard to remember and they run a high chance of playing into homophobia or other gender problems, see bad sexism comebacks.. Like artists in other fields, though, the masters of witty comebacks seem to have an innate gift to pair with their demeanor and preparation. I ask because I’m worried about how full of shit you are. 44. If you feel I have added value to your life, you can show your appreciation by doing one of the following three things: I donât know what your problem is, but Iâm guessing itâs hard to pronounce. The village called. If your brain was … Ginger & Red Head Girls Guys Good Comebacks Height House. More comebacks you may like. In such a case, you need just one thing: mean comebacks. Collection of the best Mean Comebacks 39. For a funny comeback to work, you have to get it out right away. 27. If you whine about one little thing or shed a single tear, boys will accuse you of having your period. 23. “911.” Once again, short and straightforward. Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway. dang!!! They’d like their idiot back. […] Read this: The Best Sex Position For You â Based On Your Zodiac Sign Read this: The Unedited Truth About Why You Suck, Based On Your Zodiac Sign Read this: Are Your Astrology Signs Sexually Compatible? The only way youâll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickenâs ass and wait. ", followed by 135 people on Pinterest. 3. Ignoring them and walking away is one option. Careful now, don't let your brains go to your head! You’re the reason God created the middle finger. How many times have you been approached by a guy asking you what your sign is, or when your birthday is? Yeah, step out and run a mile to the next place or call it an early night because there aren’t too many worthwhile types at the bars lol. I ask because I’m worried about how full of shit you are. Your family tree must be a cactus ‘cause you’re all a bunch of pricks. By asking someone a question, it usually warrants a reply, which means instant communication, which is why guys like this pickup line: “Where have you been all my life?” He’ll be expecting you to immediately fall for this corny pickup line. 26. Funny comeback: It’s not me, it’s you. Comeback: And you swallow ;) 45. Thanks for helping meÂ understand that. When you disappear it’s a beautiful day. It's only human nature. Witty Comebacks That are Sure to Leave Anyone Speechless. They say that every bad situation contains the seed of good as well. Learn more about working with Thought Catalog. 7 Really Good Burns And Burn Jokes. 15 Witty Comebacks To Every Sleazy Pickup Line "Excuse me, sir? ... We ain't good … Because I need you 238,000 miles away from me." You better get going. 5. 43. I will share this heart with someone serious about me.” This is an empowering text to send to a guy or girl who ghosted you because it shows regret for getting involved with him or her, but it won’t deter you from finding a good relationship. If you are in a position of power, such as a boss or community leader, you can create, point to or enforce boundaries in response to an incident. Are you always such an idiot, or do you just show off when Iâm around? Think about it like this you might just be coming across as mysterious, and that is more sexy than stupid wise cracks. They will start by walking up to you, trying to be nonchalant, right as they are about to walk past you, they’ll stop abruptly saying, “I know you, you’re the girl of my dreams!”. 4. 37. “That sounds like a you problem.” This is one of those good comebacks for when your kids are making their lack of planning your emergency. 7. Ah, nothing like a guy reminding you of breath, good or bad. Ladies, let's be real with one another. People say I've no taste, but I like you… Don’t worry, the first 40 years of childhood are always the hardest. Oh, I heard you, I just don’t care You have delusions of adequacy Here’s an idea, go play in traffic I’ve been called worse by better … Good Clean Comebacks For Jerks: 100 Insults You Can Use Read More » 8.Â Iâm not a proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one. 9. 5. Nov 24, 2018 - Explore Nakaiya 'Kai' Di Angelo-Jackso's board "Good comebacks to say to ppl" on Pinterest. And sometimes, she may use this to talk to you to test out the waters and see if there’s a chance, or if your curiosity has been piqued. Oh, my gaydar just went off on you, honey!”, Your reply, “I don’t hear anything. He may or may not believe you, and that’s what you want, assuming you haven’t totally decided you’re not interested in him just because he used a lame pickup line. Submit your writing to be published on Thought Catalog. Do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. 273 Yo Momma Insults. [Read: How to stop a guy from flirting with you], #7 The gay radar line. I like you. Luckily, you will never be a victim again with these funny comebacks. This is the guy that approaches you and immediately asks, “What’s your sign?”, Your reply: “Do not enter.” Hey, he was asking for a sign, right? 44. what would be a good comeback to post? I was hoping for a battle of wits but it would be wrong to attack someone whoâs totally unarmed. 30 Witty Comebacks When Someone Asks Why Are You Single . You have your entireÂ life to be a jerk. 944 Good Comebacks. Burning them so bad with your words that they run off crying to tell their mom is another. You should wear a condom on your head, if you're going to be a dick you might as well dress like one. 4. No longer are you’re going to be stuck at the bar with some creep because just about everyone is understanding when they have to step out to take an important call. I don't know any good comeback, the meaner the better ... Home > Other > Funny comebacks for 'you smell like sh*t' ?! These funny comebacks will serve you in any situation, ranging from when someone makes an insult on the way you look to when insults are made about your personality. […] Source: 50 Hilarious Comebacks That Will Shut Everyone Up (And Make You Look Like AÂ Genius) […], Those are freaking awesome I wish I could carry them around with me, […] http://thoughtcatalog.com/melanie-berliet/2016/02/50-hilarious-comebacks-that-will-shut-everyone-up-… […]. They're selling lives at the mall, you should get one. Funny comeback: It’s not me, it’s you. We out! Have you been shopping lately? We’d really like to hear from you. You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway. Ginger & Red Head Girls Guys Good Comebacks Height House. The good news is that the list below has a comeback for practically every situation you could possibly run into — from the jerk boyfriend and … Careful now, don't let your brains go to your head! Here’s 100 retorts that you can have chambered and ready to use whenever you need good comebacks for jerks. You’d need twice the brains to qualify as a half-wit. “The village called. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. Sometimes, you might still be friends with someone you used to date. No one said dating was easy. It lets the girl know you obviously aren’t gay. 3. 21. Aww, what happened? [Read: 16 signs your ex still wants you back in their life], #4 The astrology pickup line. 4. 10. Girl: You’re so fat! 38. It takes a total badass to carry out these remarks flawlessly! It will also possibly make him laugh. If there are any of these funny comebacks that you particularly like then please share this post with your friends but not before you’ve enjoyed them all first. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site. ... umm call the fat guys fat, look up some fat jokes to, like yo mamma jokes but convert then into you're jokes. If you’re waiting for me to care, I hope you brought something to eat, âcause it’sÂ gonna be a really long time. Call it when you see it, like this woke 12-year-old slash future NBA star. That seat’s not taken. Itâs kind of hilariousÂ watchingÂ youÂ tryÂ to fit your entire vocabulary into oneÂ sentence. 17.Â Please, save your breath. Besides, she was the one who assumed you were gay in the first place, so the joke is on her. So here is a list of mean comebacks you need just in case you are in the middle of a burn. Jesus might love you, but everyone else definitely thinks youâre an idiot. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Lower your standards a little, I just did. 25. All across Twitter, Facebook, and even in text messages to family members, people have professed their homophobic views. But sadly, some people can’t tell the difference – much less take a hint. ... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger. Image source . 6.Â Iâm trying my absolute hardest to see things from your perspective, but I just canât get my head that far up my ass. 944 Good Comebacks. See more ideas about funny quotes, funny comebacks, funny. 35. 7. 42. Well, you can fight fire with fire or you can take another route. 983 Guy Insults. On a side note, what advice would you give in dealing with a boring guy who just won’t take a hint? 43. They're selling lives at the mall, you should get one. If he doesn’t laugh and instead looks dumbfounded, clearly this guy isn’t the one for you. It is better for them to believe their own **** then to argue about something that is pointless. Whether you're walking down the street, dancing at a bar, or browsing online, creepy guys somehow always feel the need to bring their unwanted advances into your day. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site. ThiccNigro. You should wear a condom on your head, if you're going to be a dick you might as well dress like one. Guy: Oh, come on. Good comebacks when some smart-ass lands a dirty blow “Wow that’s funny, but still not funnier than what’s on there where it says “your face” in the anatomy books” “How long did it take you to come up with that?” “You are just like a pigsty, full of pig shit.” 4. Insults for Slut. Like us on Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. [Read: How to reject a guy without being too rude]. #6 The phone number line. “A lot of guys take the fact they think they’re anonymous online to be more bold and say things they wouldn’t normally if they saw you in person,” a source told the ABC. Looking for something better than I’m rubber and you’re glue? 2. None at all. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet. See more ideas about funny quotes, funny insults, witty comebacks. … When Everyday Sexism asked its Twitter followers to share their comebacks to sexist comments and the responses were perfect. Youâll probably need it to blow up your next date. 3. Select age and gender to cast your vote: Girl Guy Please select your age. 19.Â Good story, but in what chapter do you shut the fuck up? Below is a list from Bored Panda of people who had some pretty hilarious and perfect responses to homophobic comments (I think it's safe to say that George Takei has the best comebacks ever). They couldn’t be more wrong. 28. You look lonely. 1. Jul 20, 2016 - Explore sarah tomlinson's board "Good roasts!!! Ever met someone who thought that their flirtatious touch or smoldering gaze was actually welcome? Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you’d gotten enough oxygen at birth? Good story, but in what chapter do you shut the fuck up? 43. Good retorts will always protect you against bullies who take the opportunity of your lack of insulting prowess. 20. Why not take today off? him and his friend were talkiing about me on facebook and saying that i like him and that he should call me cuz im nice and stuff. Well here are 37 funny comebacks that you find useful when you’re faced with dealing with rude, mean or difficult people. There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. Insult: You suck! and call the hairy guy chubaka you … 32. Your comeback? How to reject a guy without being too rude, 16 signs your ex still wants you back in their life, 14 no-fail ways to turn down any type of guy, How to stop a gay friend from coming on to you, 40 pickup lines guys commonly use while trying to hit on women, The clueless girl’s guide to using a perfect no-fail pickup line, The First Text to a Girl: 19 Flirty Examples to Leave Her Smiling. “Actually, no. Characteristics of good comebacks. Have you ever been in a situation where the person standing in front of you has just remarked about your hair, clothes, or appearance, and you had nothing clever or out of the ordinary to say back? Dec 29, 2017 - Explore K O T A A's board "COMEBACKS", followed by 1136 people on Pinterest. 44. 42. Do hit us back with what you think in the comment section. We live in a world where we are all constantly tuned into our technological devices. There’s a difference between harmless flirting to those who come on too strong for my taste. Hope you like it. If you find yourself wanting to get out of the situation and far away from them as quickly as possible, any of these are guaranteed to make that happen much sooner than later. Xper 6. Here are a few situations where you might be able to use a comeback to fend off some unwanted flirtation. Of course, make it obvious that you're joking. [Read: How to stop a gay friend from coming on to you], #8 The doctor says comment. Witty Comebacks These comebacks are best for those situations where you don’t just want to insult someone—you want to own the room.
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